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Monthly Archives: November 2011

Destination Unknown

I interviewed when I was seventeen years old. A few months later I was playing hero on a fire engine. Goal decided and target acquired. For the next several years I studied and learned, applying myself to the career track of a fire fighter. Somewhere along the way my focus started to wander. Trying to renew the vigor and excitement I started with, I applied for a law enforcement job. The next two years were spent working for the sheriff’s department. I’ve since moved on to working as a software tester. Through all these changes I’ve struggled with finding my identity. What ties it all together? As I move from place to place, what am I striving for and what should I be preparing for? In every job I’ve held I have been easily replaceable. How can I change that and find a place where I’m doing the most important thing I can and where I’d be the most difficult to replace?

I want my life to be one of those connect the dot pictures. With each point along the way drawing my life’s story towards more completeness.

I’ve been in a place where I lost hope and I know that losing it is a very dangerous thing indeed. Things close in around you. Dreaming big starts to feel, and even become, impossible. All the things I’d done didn’t feel like they were part of something bigger.

I didn’t have a future vision and without a vision you will leave no legacy.

How can I chart a proper course and know my destination?

A. Be Honest

Wake up each day and look in the bathroom mirror, asking the person who stares back where they stand in God’s eyes. Until you can start to happily and honestly answer that question then your growth will be stunted. You will work against yourself with every step you take.

Be honest to both yourself and to others. It’s all the little, seemingly inconsequential lies we tell ourselves that always seem to eat at our souls. Nibbling away slowing. Almost unnoticed until it’s too late. I didn’t really speak that harshly, no need to reconcile. I don’t eat bad at all. My habits don’t control me. I don’t need to ask forgiveness for THAT….

It’s easy to dismiss it as something other than lying. Often it is just a “pushing to the back of the mind” of certain thoughts and guilt. Trying to cover what needs uncovering. But no endless supply of positive thoughts or uplifting mantras will keep the skeletons buried. Slowly, persistently, they rise to the surface.

Practice complete honesty. Admit what is broken. Start with honesty to yourself, then live it out with the honesty you give to others. That is the first step to fixing those things and moving on.

B. Find Your Vision

Gary North, author and creator of garynorth.com has an excellent tool for finding your life’s vision. You imagine yourself at your own retirement party. In every detail you think of the speech you want to give to those who have gathered. Who do you want to be there, cheering for you and the life you’ve led? What are you the most excited for having accomplished during your life?

Authors use this technique to write novels all the time. They ask themselves, How does it all end? Then they fill all the pages in between the beginning and that ending. Use the same thing in your life. It won’t make your life “boring.” You may know the ending, but all the pages in between are blank and full of adventure. It will bring both motivation AND peace when you know where you want to end up. You know what you’re working towards, so you can start to develop the battle plan, and you can dream up all the tactics you need to follow to reach that final destination and victory.

A lot of the trivial “bucket list” items will lose value as you develop this future vision of where you are headed. We run around frantically, disjointedly racking up accomplishments to wow others with, instead of buckling down and doing the work that will actually bring us more in line with our Calling.

A heavy burden is lifted from your shoulders when you have a plan. Know where you are headed and the present suddenly becomes much more exciting and full of opportunity.

I’m working on my future vision. Why don’t you develop a vision for your life as well?

Never Work Out Alone

Several years ago I read a fascinating book called Never Eat Alone by the world-class networker Keith Ferrazzi. It was a fun and educational book. It explained exactly how you can develop more, and better, relationships in your life. I should probably read it again and start following its advice! Anyways, I brought that up because I pretty much blatantly stole Keith’s book title and gave it a little twist to come up with my post title. Thanks, Keith!

This morning I was driving back from my last private CrossFit session with CrossFit Cameron Park, and the inspiration to write on this topic of working out hit me, in a figurative fashion.

Crossfit has become a big movement in the gym world over the last several years. It has seen explosive growth in the number of people grabbing memberships and joining gyms. In 2005 there were 18 CrossFit gyms, and just last year that number had reached something near 1,700! What exactly is it that people find so fascinating about a workout style where you push yourself so hard you feel like puking? Some people even pass that point and actually lose their lunch. Seriously. I’ve been in a CrossFit gym where they had a designated 5-gallon “barf bucket.” And people keep returning with a smile!

I honestly believe that people are so in love with CrossFit because it embodies a spirit of community. Even on days when I would be crushed physically by the workout, I was always more positive and happy when I left. I attribute that to the stellar level of teamwork, openness, and positivity that was shared with fellow CrossFitters.

Sometimes I see a lonely runner, or a single bicyclist. My heart goes out to them. Maybe they are getting in really, really good-looking shape, but they are skipping out on an experience of bonding that can be absolutely amazing and also very humbling.

So now that I’m back to my home gym and can’t make it in to the CrossFit “box” every week, what am I gonna do to keep from being a lonely figure out on the road and under the barbell? Thankfully, with five brothers and several friends who like to stay active, I’m looking to be in pretty good shape. Again, figuratively, but hopefully also literally!

Working out with another person can teach you so much more about yourself. When the workout gets hard, and the going gets steep, you start to fray a little around the emotional edges. You let your emotional defenses down a little once the physical hurting starts. But in the end, those are the times when you learn the most about one another and have a chance to bond. So you get to know each other a little better AND you’ve accomplished something together. You’ll be amazed how much more fun and play is present, even in the hard moments, when you work out with a friend.

Next time you work out find a friend to join you. It might even keep you safe. A couple weeks ago I was working out with my brother. Encouraging him as he started into a squat with the barbell. Something went wrong. He couldn’t recover and started to collapse underneath the bar. I rushed up and lifted it off as quickly as I could. Boy, was he thankful I was there!

Stay safe and have more fun next time you work out. Find somebody to tag along. Or even turn it into a group thing. Accountability for everyone and a fostering of community. Never work out alone!

A Quote for Today and Tomorrow!

I hope you’ve been enjoying the posts I’ve been writing. I’ll just give you a short quote to think on today, but I’m excited to be working on some bigger things to bring to the blog soon!

~Ben

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.”
~ Charles Spurgeon

Stop Wasting Your Thoughts on the Wrong Things

I thought about it for weeks. It probably occupied my thoughts a dozen times a day. Still, it sat undone.

Over forty pages to complete for the law enforcement agency’s background check. That’s a lot of work! I thought. Often I even stressed myself out thinking about all the details I needed to collect to complete the packet.

Closer and closer the deadline creeped.

Finally, the deadline was two days away. I couldn’t procrastinate on this project any longer. I picked up the sheaf of papers and my phone. Only 5 hours later I’d completed the entire packet, sealed it up, and shipped it out.

“I do my best work when the pressure is on.” It’s a common refrain among procrastinators. I have guiltily followed that philosphy for years. I think of what needs doing, then spend my time doing fancy mathematical calculations in my head. Just exactly how long can I keep putting it off?

I would become a flesh and blood version of the statue of The Thinker. Chin in hand and resigned to being frozen in inaction. Contemplating what needs doing and never taking action.

I like to think about working out. I like to think about writing. I like to think about getting out of bed. It’s so easy and seemingly rewarding to think of doing while never getting around to the actual DOING part.

How productive could a day be if you stopped just thinking about what needs to be done and actually accomplished it instead?

Do it today.

How to Accomplish Anything

First, pick what it is you want to accomplish. Set your sights high and dream big.

“Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Only you can decide what goal should demand your focus. But make sure that it’s a grand and worthy one.

Second, plan where you’re going. I know I wrote recently about “fooling” yourself into taking action. Getting moving before your mind can say no. That is a useful trick for gaining quick momentum, but momentum is lost without a plan from which you can chart your progress. Weigh, chart, detail, and photograph your progress. Know exactly where you are starting from and journal the journey till the end.

I don’t actually journal currently (beyond this blog!), but I do keep little papers and notebooks that let me know exactly where I am with current projects. From my writing projects, to my blog project, my workout project, my eating plan, and my educational objectives, I track every detail.

Keep track.

Third, take action! You will go strong for a week. Then you will waver slightly. Keep pushing! Everything seems to be working against you. Other momentary demands clamor for your time. Crises arise. You become demotivated. Stuck.

Push on.

It’s so hard to keep focused. You’re not making progress. Friends tell you that you are wasting your time.

Don’t stop.

You break down emotionally. Exhausted. It’s too much work to continue!

Just a little farther.

Your lungs are fit to burst. Every muscle in your body is crying for oxygen. Burning. It feels like your footsteps should be lighting on fire.

Keep going!

The end is in sight. You suddenly find a reserve of strength. Everything comes together and you reach the end. Your goal is complete!

All of a sudden it doesn’t feel as amazing as you thought it would. You might feel slightly let down and disappointed.

It’s time to plan the next goal.

Keep striving. Keep pushing. Use every desire and every goal to please God and advance His Kingdom. “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” ~ 1 Corinthians 10:31

Food and Fitness Links

1. Check out the 2012 Vision Forum conference on food. I’m registered and excited for the many amazing speakers already lined up. The Reformation of Food and the Family.

2. Not all meat comes wrapped on a little foam tray? The Lost Art of Buying From a Butcher.

3. The best food shopping tip used to be to stay along the outer edges of the store. That’s where all the freshest foods are displayed. Now packaged foods are trying to sneak in with the produce.

4. You started walking and now you want to run? Here is the fastest method for learning proper running form.

The Perfect Food… and Chickens

We got 30 + 1 baby chicks today. I drove to the post office with two of my younger brothers to pick them up this morning, after finally getting the long anticipated call. Jack was the most excited. He was the one who spearheaded our last chicken-raising operation. Unfortunately, that idyllic situation came to a bloody end with the great chicken massacre instigated by an angry bear.

But, when you’re a chicken farmer, you try try again. It’s just one little way that we are taking dominion. With the help of friends, we reinforced our coop – as much as is possible when dealing with bears. We prepared a place to bed the chicks and strung up heat lamps to ward off the winter cold.

The hatchery I ordered from, McMurray Hatchery, has a tradition of sending one exotic chick with each order. He’s the “+1″ from above. The little guy is a lonely black-fluffed chick among the yellowish-looking Red Stars. I still haven’t figured out what breed he is.

Eggs are a daily necessity in our house. Only this morning the fridge was opened to cries of despair as it was discovered that our stockpile of eggs had dwindled away. I can’t go a day without at least four to six eggs. They are the perfect food.

Every time I buy eggs from the store, I try another brand that boasts of being “organic” and “free-range”, only to be disappointed when I crack one open into a bowl, and see the pale yellow yoke that was housed inside.

A truly nutritious egg will have a deep yellow color to it. Even almost orange. I am going to be impatiently waiting for spring.

Fooling Yourself into Starting

Want to know the best workout in the world?

Take a step. Then another. Don’t think about working out. Don’t try to motivate yourself. Don’t make a special plan to lift weights for 30 minutes, followed by 20 on the bike, and some stretching for good measure. Workouts like those can help you reap tremendous benefits, but the barrier to starting is too high. Your mind will rebel more often then not. Don’t leave an opening for procrastination.

Just take a step. Promise yourself that you are just standing up for a moment to stretch your legs. Fool yourself into motion and then don’t stop moving.

Ben’s Guide to Working Out:

1. Find your shoes. Even better, go barefoot, but wear shoes if you must. :-)

2. Put them on and tie the laces.

3. Take a step.

4. Don’t stop moving.

Thinking about doing will leave your workout uncompleted, your Bible unread, and your book unwritten.

Just take a step.

How to Wake Up Happy

I’m tired. Sick. So very tired of being sick. All I want is to have energy and to play in the sun, and travel around the world, and be loved, and to be able to give love to those around me. Being in really good shape would be cool too, and being talented at playing the piano, and becoming super smart like Leonardo Da Vinci, and flying jets would also be fun…

One time I made a list. It was called my “If only…” list. Every project that I’d begun and forgotten was on that list. All the relationships that I’d let drift into nothingness. If only I hadn’t done ____. If only I had done ____. I didn’t stop writing because I ran out of things to write on the list. I stopped writing because I ran out of paper. It scared me.

For almost a month after that I was deep into a state of depression. It’s always been easy for me to lower my spirits into a dark place. The more I tuck and hide away my thoughts and weaknesses from others, the heavier the weight that bears me down and down.

I’d been sick since the beginning of the year. My energy seemed to wax and wane in a cyclic fashion. For weeks at a time I would feel amazing, but these times always seemed to be followed by a sudden crash. My spirits often plummeted along with my energy.

Each day I’d wake up a little later. Stay in bed a little longer. If I allowed my thoughts to stay buried in self-pity then my attitude would start to feed on itself and become increasingly worse.

I hope to write more about my health journey in a later post. Human nature often hides that which makes us look weak. We each try to hide the struggles that play within our souls and in our bodies. We play pretend that what we are is perfect. It embarrasses us to allow others to know about the struggles and fears. The imperfections.

People don’t want to hear lies though. They want the honest, raw truth. They want to know your story. What did you do? How did you overcome your health problems – or some other struggle in your life?

This is how I try to keep myself waking up with a playful spirit:

1. Praying before sleep and before I do anything else when I wake up. This alone can complete turn around my attitude, keep me from indulging in self-defeating attitudes, and really set the day up for success. Meditating day and night on the Word. Staying anchored in it so I won’t drift.

2. Keeping a “set in stone” morning routine. This really focuses me. I wake up with more energy when I know exactly what the morning has planned and how I’ll go about accomplishing it. I feel best when I wake up at 5:30 a.m. and pray first thing. Following that with reading the Bible. Then diving straight into work.

3. Getting some sun every day. This helps with calcium metabolism, immunity, gene expression, and melatonin production. Vitamin D is absolutely essential to health. I sleep like a baby when I get 30 minutes to an hour of sun a day. If I can’t make time, or it’s one of those dark, rainy days, then I will supplement with 4,000 IU of D3.

4. Keeping a consistent bedtime. This goes hand in hand with the morning routine. I won’t feel good if I don’t get 7 to 8 hours of quality sleep, and I won’t get that if I stay up late and then try to keep the morning routine up as well. It takes self-discipline, but it’s one of the highest impact changes I’ve made.

5. Avoiding media consumption within an hour of bedtime. Avoiding blue light from artificial sources right before bed is critical. Exposure to blue light limits the body’s production of melatonin. That’s a great thing during the middle of the day. However, when I’m are getting ready for bed then I want melatonin, the sleep hormone, to start building in my body. This means that I will enter deeper sleep sooner after going to bed, and thus wake up more rested. I love to take advantage of that redeemed hour before sleep to read, pray, and write (pen and paper).

What helps you to wake up happy?

Resting Peacefully

“Live in the moment.” “Don’t think of the future.” “Forget the past.”

These are all common philosophies of the day. Popularized by “spiritual” authors such as Eckhart Tolle in The Power of Now, they try to teach us to train our minds to focus only on the present. They say that the past is done, and the future not yet written.

Why does only the present count? Why should we forget what is past?

Guilt has a way of wracking your conscience. It plays scenes on repeat in your mind’s eye. You can’t run and hide from what plays on in your head. “Another parable spake he unto them; The kingdom of heaven is like unto leaven, which a woman took, and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened.” Is the Kingdom the leaven in your life? Or is your mind being leavened by sin and guilt?

Sinner. At night you lie down to sleep. You close your eyes. Exhausted. But you get no rest.

The closest many ever come to a clean conscience is by giving up one of their most precious possessions: their memories. They are artificially inducing Alzheimer’s before its time. They live in the present to forget the past. To forget the guilt that tugs at their hearts.

True rest is a beautiful thing. It comes from letting God cleanse you of your sins as you walk in His precepts. “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

Lord, forgive me my sins – past, present, and future. Unburden my heart. Allow me to lie down in peaceful rest tonight.

How will you sleep tonight?

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